Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.

We all experience personality clashes, at times it can seem an indescribably fierce force, even with our very own siblings.  Our inability to express ourselves in ways intended often means it leaves addressee of our idle talk confused, leaving us misunderstood, misread or even perhaps misconstrued. What hurts is the aftermath… The knowing that it all came out terribly wrong, the anticipation of thoughts of what exactly the other is thinking, the prolonged moments of silence. It’s happened to us all; we’ve let our emotions take a toll on us. Sometimes in my cranky state I have a tendency to have a go at a lot of people, who in essence mean more than words can express.

I am a critic of my own self first and the first to admit that there are many flaws in my character. I have a lot on my plate at the moment, financially, emotionally and spiritually. Resulting in me becoming somewhat restless, impatient, and just generally struggling. 

Rumi (raheemullah) once said: “Out beyond ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” I guess that’s where patience and perseverance with others comes into play. Because at the end of the day I heart you. And this heart hurts others too, so it’s okay for you to hurt me, because I’m sure I’ve hurt you along the way.

Maybe I just need her. Need to be with her. I miss her so! And have been deprived of her for far too long. The only remedy; of whom I’ve deprived myself . Perhaps this is a sign from Him. A sign that I need to reflect on her and focus my priorities on serving her. After all paradise lies under her feet!

May He forgive me for my shortcomings as a sister to my siblings, a daughter to my parents, a student to my teachers and most importantly as a forgetful servant to Him.

Remember this forgetful, inconsiderate, careless, negligent servant in your rememberance of Him.